Sleep Training

Sleep!! Beautiful glorious sleep!! Where are you, sleep? I know you are hiding. I know that you have left for now, and that one day you will come back to me. Don't let that baby screaming down the hall scare you away. You know where you and those fabulous counting sheep belong...with me, in La La Land.
I knew having a baby would mean less sleep. I just didn't know HOW MUCH I would miss it!

Before having my sweet little bundle of insomniac joy, I used to tell people 'I will TOTALLY do the Ferber method on my kid. Oh ya, it's the ONLY way to get a good night's sleep. You just shut the door, and let them know who's boss when it comes to 'bed time'.

Ya. Right.

So, when the time came where the doctor told us 'you can begin sleep training now', I just looked at my little darling and thought 'How could I ever leave him to cry, thinking I abandoned him in the middle of the night???'
Most of our friends were convincing us it was the right thing to do, my husband's colleagues were saying 'oh ya, you have to Ferberize them, or they will control you!'All these scary images were coming into my head about our son dictating our lives and us living in fear at the 15lbs human down the hall.
But something inside of me was telling me different. Instinctively I felt like it was wrong. I scoured baby sleep books (which, by the way, is how you make the REAL money!), internet, blogs, forums, doctors. I couldn't possibly be the first person who felt that leaving your infant to cry for hours on end was the right thing to do.
We even tried it! For one night, and I don't know who was crying more-me or him. He SCREAMED (see.Colic post) for hours. It didn't stop. It.just.wouldn't.stop.
I learned quickly that my son is 'Spirited' and sometimes sleep training doesn't work on these kids. Or if it does, it's just 'my parents abandoned me, and there's no point to cry' working.
I've heard other babies cry. Like, my friend was letting her daughter 'cry it out' and holy fuck-if mehh mehh wahhh is the crying she would have to listen to, then SIGN ME UP for sleep training. In my case, it sounds like the baby is fighting for his life with WAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, ya, there's no fucking way.

Clearly, I had to go with my gut. And we did.I'm not going to say there wasn't lots of swearing in the middle of the night, when hubby and I were so tired, and not agreeing that tending to him was the right route to take (at 4am-no one knows what they are talking about), but in the end, the little guy did it all on his own. Yes, it took 8 months, and yes, there are still nights where we need to get up with him when he's sick or sad (like tonight, because I just jinxed saying he was sleeping again-more about jinx later), but at least he KNEW when he needed us, and when that tiny little guy was upset, he could count on his parents to make him feel better.

Because, when he's a toddler or small child and has a nightmare, am I going to just ignore his cries then? If he needs shoulder to cry on as he gets older, or wants to talk, am I going to say 'No, mommy's watching Dexter, go away'?? No, I will be there for him.


Here's a couple of things to know if you are going to sleep train (stupid Ferber).
North America is one of the only societies to do it. Most other societies actually sleep with their kids (I'm not really for that).
When they get sick, you have to sleep train all over again. Because when they are sick you should actually tend to them! If you don't then you are a monster
Teething also fucks up sleep training
Sleep training doesn't work on all babies, and sometimes it takes weeks before you find that out.

I'm not dictating what you should do (but I am going to say, don't push other parents just because YOU think it's right-my biggest piss off), but you should go with your gut. And both ways can be SO hard and taxing, but you have to do what's right for your family, and once you do, you will feel so much better about your decision.

Happy sleeping!!!